Why accessibility, flexibility and understanding matter in pregnancy, birth and beyond.
Neurodivergence has been part of my family life for a long time. It's something I live alongside, learn about and understand more deeply as the years go by.
I also recognise a great deal of neurodivergence in myself. I don't have a formal diagnosis, and Ifeel no need at this point in my life to claim one, but I know that my brain doesn't always work in quite the same way as other people's. The more I've learnt about neurodivergence through my family, the more I've come to recognise aspects of it in myself.
And, interestingly, the more I've looked at the resources I've created through Birth Prep In A Box, the more I've realised just how much my own experiences and ways of thinking have influenced them.
There isn't one right way to learn
One of the things I've come to understand about neurodivergence is that people can experience, process and retain information in very different ways.
Some people love reading and researching every detail. Others find large amounts of written information overwhelming.
Some need to see something visually before it makes sense. Others need to hear it explained, talk it through, practise it or return to it several times.
Some people need plenty of time to process information before making a decision. Others might struggle to formulate questions in the moment, particularly when they're feeling overwhelmed or under pressure.
And, of course, these differences aren't exclusive to neurodivergent people.
Pregnancy and birth can be overwhelming for anyone. There is an enormous amount of information to absorb, often accompanied by unfamiliar terminology, conflicting opinions and decisions that can feel incredibly important.
I don't think the answer is to expect everyone to learn in the same way.
I think we need to make information available in different ways, so that people can find what works for them.
How Birth Prep In A Box became more accessible than I realised
When I began creating Birth Prep In A Box, I wanted to make birth preparation more practical, approachable and flexible.
I didn't want people to have to sit through hours of teaching, remember everything they'd been told and somehow translate it all into useful knowledge when they went into labour.
I wanted something they could pick up, explore, revisit and use in their own way.
And that's how the toolkit developed.
There are 57 illustrated birth preparation cards, breaking down important topics into manageable pieces of information. The cards can be explored individually, spread out, organised, revisited and used to prompt conversations.
There's no requirement to work through them in a particular order.
The information is supported by an online course, where topics can be explored in greater detail, and by hypnobirthing audio recordings, offering another way to engage with preparation and relaxation.
The cards themselves are visual and tactile. The online resources allow people to revisit information at their own pace. The audio tools provide an alternative to reading or watching.
And when the toolkit is used with a facilitator (like me ☺️), there's the opportunity to talk things through, ask questions, practise techniques and explore how the information relates to individual circumstances.
Looking at it now, I realise that I've created something that offers several different routes into the same learning. And I'm really proud of that. Not because I think I've somehow created the perfect resource for every neurodivergent person - I certainly haven't, and everyone's needs are different.
But because accessibility has become part of the way Birth Prep In A Box works, rather than something that needs to be added afterwards.
Neurodivergence and the experience of birth
The more I've explored research and personal experiences of neurodivergent pregnancy and birth, the more I've recognised how important individualised support can be.
For an autistic parent, the sensory environment of a maternity unit might be particularly challenging. Bright lights, unfamiliar sounds, unexpected touch, interruptions or several people speaking at once can all add to an already intense experience.
For someone with ADHD, processing large amounts of information, managing appointments, remembering questions or making decisions under pressure might present different challenges.
Some people may find changes to plans particularly difficult. Others may need clear, literal communication, additional processing time or a written explanation of their options.
And many neurodivergent people have spent years masking their needs or adapting themselves to environments that weren't designed with them in mind.
Pregnancy and birth shouldn't have to be another situation where someone feels they must do that.
It's also important not to make assumptions. Two autistic people might have completely different preferences. The same is true of two people with ADHD.
Being neurodivergent doesn't automatically tell us what someone needs. Listening to them does.
Birth plans, communication and informed choices
This is one of the reasons I'm so passionate about birth planning. A birth plan isn't simply a list of things someone hopes will happen during labour. It's an opportunity to explore what matters to them, what helps them feel comfortable, how they prefer to communicate and what support they might need if circumstances change.
For neurodivergent parents, that might include thinking about sensory preferences, communication needs, consent, processing time, familiar routines and how their birth partner can support them. Perhaps they'd prefer one person speaking at a time. Perhaps they'd like explanations before being touched, or decisions written down rather than delivered verbally. Perhaps they need a quieter environment, fewer interruptions or a little extra time to consider information.
These aren't unreasonable requests. They're examples of individualised care. And they're exactly the kinds of conversations I want people to feel comfortable having during their birth preparation.
The way I support families
I've also been reflecting on how my personal understanding of neurodivergence influences my work as a doula and antenatal educator. My approach has always been fairly individual. I'm not someone who believes there's one ideal way to give birth, one perfect birth plan or one method of preparation that works for everyone.
I like to get to know the people I'm supporting, understand what matters to them and work out together what might help them feel informed, comfortable and supported.
I'm very happy to explore information in detail, communicate in writing, revisit conversations, create practical plans or simply give someone space and time to think.
I understand that people don't always communicate their needs in the same way, and that someone appearing calm or coping well doesn't necessarily mean they're comfortable.
My own experiences have made me particularly aware of those things. And I think that awareness translates naturally into the birth support and antenatal preparation I offer.
I wouldn't claim to understand every neurodivergent experience, or suggest that being familiar with neurodivergence makes me a specialist in everyone's needs. But I do bring personal understanding, curiosity and a genuine willingness to adapt. And that, I find, is help to everyone - not just neurodivergent people.
Whether I'm supporting someone through pregnancy, helping them prepare for birth or being alongside them during labour, I want them to feel that they can be themselves. They shouldn't have to fit into my way of working. My support should work around them.
A growing library of resources for neurodivergent parents
Researching this subject has also introduced me to some wonderful organisations, researchers and people sharing their experiences of neurodivergent pregnancy, birth and parenthood.
There are practical guides to planning for birth, templates for communicating sensory and support needs, personal birth stories and research exploring the experiences of autistic and ADHD parents.
I've been adding these to the Birth Prep In A Box Resource Library, which is free to access.
If you're neurodivergent, think you might be, or support someone who is, I hope you'll find something useful there.
And if you're a birthworker, I'd really encourage you to explore these resources too. There's so much we can learn from listening to people's experiences and considering how we can make our own practice more accessible.
Explore the Birth Prep In A Box Resource Library and look for the Neurodivergent Birth topic.
Birth Prep In A Box was created to make birth preparation more accessible, practical and personal. The more I learn about the different ways people experience the world, the more committed I become to making sure there's room for those differences in the way we prepare for birth.
Birth preparation that works for you
This flexible, accessible approach runs through everything I do.
You'll find it in the Birth Prep In A Box cards, the online birth preparation and hypnobirthing course, my one-to-one doula support and the group antenatal courses I run through Connected Parents.
Whether you're learning independently, preparing with a facilitator (or become a facilitator) or working with me personally, the aim is always the same: to make birth preparation approachable, adaptable and genuinely useful, with space for different ways of thinking, learning and communicating.
You might also like:
My blog titled ‘Why it’s ok to ruffle your midwife’s feathers’ where I share some familes real lived experiences of working with a doula for their pregnancy, birth and beyond.
